White eyes

‘Maril!’ He calls me to sit down beside him by the huge bonfire which is gradually reaching manageable proportions. ‘What is your title for the day?’, he wants to know. Before I can answer, he says: ‘I have one: White Eyes. You see that dog with the white eyes that is blind? Sometimes he doesn’t know what is going on, but then he slowly moves determinedly and you realise he knows. That is the same with people in life…’


Bernardo is a paying guest at the hostel who arrived 2 days ago. He is a journalist who has been travelling for eight months, writing a documentary about various areas in Argentina, which he hopes will be filmed. He drives 10 000km a month – crazy! Quite eccentric, with a marvellous sense of humour.  He is on his way north and his car has been giving problems. It cannot be fixed in Sauce Viejo so he is now sleeping for 2 hours (after his late dinner of steak and tomatoes) and will then drive 500km back to Buenos Aires to have it repaired. As soon as it is fixed, he will drive north, past here on his way to Cordoba.Such are the characters I have been meeting here. At some stage there were 7 people around the fire, but not all were eating. They kept on coming and going, quite haphazardly.  It was a special night, with the full moon rising over the river, and not a breath of wind.  The fire was big and Alejandro kept on fuelling it with massive dead tree trunks. On the braai was one flat chicken, a steak and a potato cut into slices, all very slowly being grilled. A cabbage salad and sandwiches appeared from the kitchen, and some of Ale’s freshly baked bread. A feast, to say the least.
Things are gradually improving and the weather is playing along, it’s much warmer. I have cooked twice and am beginning to feel part of the establishment. I don’t mind that Ale’s English is improving at a much faster rate than my Spanish, at least we are communicating. Last night I was mostly enjoying staring into the fire, fully aware of the people and occassionally engaging, with the moon and river as backdrop. Bernardo had given me some useful information on Santa in the north, where there are wine farms,  and I read this very apt quote on a website:

‘My work is about space and the light that inhabits it. It is about how you confront that space and plumb it with vision It is about your seeing, like the wordless thought that comes from looking into the fire.’  (James Turrel, on his art).

The fire had done its work for me.

Watch what you ask for

Last year I did a competent crew course, in the hope of sailing to South America. The only sailing I ended up doing, was from Knysna to Gordon’s Bay. Not that simple. It turned out to be a gruelling 3-day survival trip in a galing south-easter, with the other crew member below deck with sea-sickness, and only me and the very competent skipper to brave the seas. The point of this side-track is that one should be careful what one asks for. The universe has a way of delivering…  In this case I had ásked for wild weather, for wind and water spraying in my face. But nót three days of it with sleep deprivation and hallucinations. At one stage during the second night, as Aurum was being tossed about in gigantic waves with me holding the tiller, I was on the verge of calling André, the skipper, to come and look at what I could only assume was an UFO. Fortunately I timely realised that I was looking at the little light at the top of the mast, which had grown in proportion and changed colour in my exhausted and depleted mind.

Back to Argentina: be careful what you ask for… I had this romantic notion that I would spend time working with the locals, learning the Spanish and becoming acquainted with their culture. It is early days yet, I only arrived in Sauce Viejos yesterday, but I feel completely at a loss, cold and alienated. Communication is difficult, although the landlord and his helper are both extremely friendly and trying their best to explain things, using their broken English, my broken Spanish and Google translate, which I had downloaded in Buenos Aires.  I don’t really understand what is expected of me, but I did understand that the house must be kept clean and the leaves raked every 3rd day or so. It’s a rustic environment, extremely so, and things seem to move at a slow pace. The helper, Ale, keeps on reminding me: ‘Take it easy’ (in English!).The house is on the banks of the Rio Coronda, which runs into the Rio Paraná, which is the longest river in Argentina, and second longest in South America.  The Paraná forms a delta which enters the ocean just north of Buenos Aires. This is the view from the house:So this morning I raked the leaves on this huge lawn – notice the pile in the braai area…And cleaned the kitchen and swept the lounge and dining areaThat little stove (right bottom) is a life saver, warms up the room beautifully. And the sleeping quarters:Hats off to Alejandros, who came to this place in February last year and decided to create a hostel and start with permaculture. He has a small vegetable garden, and this morning a woman took away two crates of plants, free of charge, as it is food, and gladly given away.  He even has a scarecrow watching over the garden.They had just become operational in February this year, when a twister came through and wrecked havoc, breaking branches and tearing corrugated iron sheets off the roof of their workshop. Fortunately the house was not hit, but the paradise garden was in a mess and had to be cleaned up.  Huge torn off limbs of the ombú tree (which is not really a tree but a huge cluster of pampass-like grass) are still lying around. The rarity of finding óne 200yr old ombú here next to the river is made rarer still by the fact that there are twó standing close together (see lawn picture).  According to Ale there are forests if Ombú trees in Uruguay.In spite of my fragile emotional state, these past two days have been filled with new experiences and people coming and going. There were two guests staying the first night, a young couple whom I gathered were here to advise Alejandro on the business. The latter cooked us a typical Colombian meal of legumes and rìce, rather bland but tasty. And dinner is served late, at about 21h00. Ale bakes bread as needed, and at about 19h00 I was presented with bread, chocolat con leche (a caramel chocolate spread) and mate. My first experience of mate had been yesterday. It is a traditional herb tea shared by everyone present (from the same cup, drinking from the same bombilla, pronounced bombisha). Making and drinking it is more of a ritual than a process. It is an honour to be offered to partake.There is no WiFi at the house but Ale was kind enough to give me the password of the WiFi at the ice cream shop. The shops in Sauce Vieje are open from 9 – 11am, and again from 3 – 6pm, so I just stood on the pavement in front of the closed shop and read and sent WApps. Only later I discovered a cafe that also had WiFi, so this is where I will go to everyday after work. I took a cup of tea down to the river after work and while watching the water flow, I realized that my eyes were drawn downstream.  I looked upstream and realized it felt different, quieter and less energy.  I looked in front of me, and again my eyes were naturally drawn downstream, seeing the noticeable flow of water. I thought about Siddhartha and how he had spent time learning from the river. What I learnt today is that upstream is the past, it is over, it holds no energy. The water is the same, yet the present (in front of me) and future (downstream), is what matters. That is where my focus will be.

On my way to Sante Fe

My hot, steaming breath blows little white clouds out on the crisp morming air as I emerge from the subway. I’m sweating, in spite of the 5°C, as I’ve been lugging my 20kg suitcase and 10kg backpack up and down stairs down there, en route to the bus station. And here I am, on the bus, after more sweat – nerves this time!

A friend recently quoted her late husband on Facebook: ‘It’s the start that stops many a person.’ Every time I’m challenged by a new experience I think of this, and just push through. Not without trepidation though, it’s quite challenging trying to ask directions in my broken Español. ‘Donde esta numero cuatro dos plataforma’ – and I get a smile and blank stare. No wonder, I’m not sure that means ‘Where is platform 42’. (I googled, it’s: ¿Dónde está la plataforma cuarenta y dos.) I wasn’t thát far off, I suppose it’s my uncertainty and accent that created the confusion. Eventually I found it outside, after having walked the length of numbers up to 39 inside (where they stopped). No corresponding exit numbers inside to platform numbers outside… You live and learn! At least everyone is friendly.

I’m off on my first venture outside of the city, on my way to Sante Fe (hey, that rhymes!), where I’ll be starting my first job as volunteer on a small-holding where they run a hostel and do permaculture.  The latter seems to be quite popular here, as many similar job opportunities come up on Workaway, the site I am registered with. The deal with Workaway is that one works 5hrs a day for 5 days a week, in exchange for board and lodging. The rest of the time one is free to explore and enjoy. Perfect way of traveling on a low budget, don’t you think? Well, time will tell.

One thing about luggage when planning to travel frequently, and specially if one is on a low budget – buy the best, it’s going to take knocks and you don’t want to have to buy new ones. I’m very happy with my bright pink durable and pliable whatever-plastic, with 360° turning wheels, it was money well spent. Obviously the salesman knew what he was talking about. And I managed to squeeze in the extra pair of shoes this morning.

This picture was taken when I left South Africa, just to show my suitcase.

This is then adios Buenos Aires,  volveré! (I’ll be back!)

Turns, right and wrong

Of course I do gardens on a Sunday.   The most beautiful in Buenos Aires is the Parque 3 de Febrero in Palermo, an area north of the microcenter (as it is known). It is far from my apartment, so I  decided to brave the public transport. Someone had given me a SUBE card, a magnetic card used for buses and the subway, so I just had to figure out which bus to take. Easy as pie, as my guidebook tells me the numbers and the numbers are written on the bus stops which are everywhere. Not so easy to know exactly where to get off though, but with beginner’s luck I managed to get it right the first time. Spot on, right at the rose garden, called Rosedal, which has 12 000 roses, unfortunately not blooming yet.


A bit of history:  Parque de Febrero was designed by a French landscape architect, Charles Thays, on land that was confiscated from an 18th century dictator, Juan Manual de Rosas. No road, building, garden or anything is named after Rosas, he was so bad, and all his grounds were earmarked for public use. Argentina has survived many dictators and hardships, yet they remain warm-hearted and open. It gave me great pleasure to share hard-earned  public grounds with so many others out on a Sunday stroll, run or picnic.

The next destination was not so easy to find. I was headed for the Jardine Japonés, a Japanese garden not far away, but took a wrong turn and ended up making it véry far. Ugh… Worth the effort through, it was tranquil and full if spring flowers. I had lunch next to flowering strelitsias, felt like home.

Tulips!
And lilies

The bell in the last picture is sounded every year on 21st September to celebrate World Peace Day.

This is me sitting on the steps of a statue, trying to figure out where the Botanical Gardens are, munching popcorn.


And then more miscalculations and wrong turns… The botanical gardens were closed for some unknown reason, so I took the bus to the graveyard in Recoleta, and went too far, had to walk back a few blocks.  And then réálly made the wrong choice, turning left and walking right around the graveyards before reaching the entrance (which was literally 50m from where I turned left). Beautiful old tombstones, but macabre when you peep in through the windows.

Cobwebs on the doors
Sad state of affairs inside
Few are in complete state of decay

Some have beautiful little chapels inside

A little magic to end my day: as I was walking past one of the alleyways, I heard a voice, and there was a young man bending on one knee, talking through the window of a tomb, pouring his heart out to his ancestors. It touched my heart and suddenly I wished that I too had someone there to communicate with. So I talked to my mother, who loved graveyards – she would have appreciated the beauty of decay.

3rd day blues

I receive comments about how brave I am and how easy I make things seem. But let me tell you, often I am só scared that I truly think I must be mad (hence the name of my blog). However, that does not deter me. Let me share something about myself.

I believe in carpe diem, truly, and in being completely present in every moment. Life has so much to offer, one only has to open one’s eyes and be present. This can sometimes create experiences that impact deeply, that touch your very soul and reveal things about yourself that are unsettling. Those moments are discomforting,  but necessary. Self-knowledge is vital for meaningful existence and life experiences aid that process. I was having one of those akward days on my third day, the one it had rained and I had not done much.  And then a dear friend sent me this video, which made me cry.  It also made me realise that I have mány such moments in life, that in essence it is those moments that propel me forward, that encourage me to reach for more. And that make life worth living, just the way I do, shit-scared and all…


Thanks for reading my blog,

friends and family, and for being supportive and encouraging.